omg dis was da bestest fanfikk evar!1 fangz 4 writin dis!1

Okay, compared to what I'm putting in here and what I put in my last post, this is going to be what many non-chatspeakers/chatspeak haters will agree.

As always, ET provided me with hilarious(I gotta use another word) links and well they are really amusing.

To start of with, go to Google not Yahoo, and Google worst fanfic ever. 

For you lazy pigs out there, I'll make screenies for you.

Just so happens that I'm bored and willing to make screenies. 

Drag to address bar to enlarge.

How can the best and the worst be on the same level, weird right?

I forgotten to add red circles but look at the first link. 

My Immortal(MI) is one very poorly written Harry Potter fanfic. 

The writer, Tara Gilesbie wrote MI in chatspeak.

Examples below.

"Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was…………………….Tom Bombodil!1111"

"Who MASTABATED to it!"

"dUMBLydore lookd shockd."

Look at the horrendous spelling and chatspeak. I got this from Encyclopedia Dramatica(clickclickclick).

But sadly, the original one has been deleted but there's a sequel which is equally as horrible. 

In case you are curios, here's the link, My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside.

And here is my review.

"Thank you for destroying the English language. Also thank you for providing me hilarious entertainment. I've got to agree, the reviews are far far more hilarious than the story itself.  I read till Chapter 3 or is it 3 paragraphs? My eyes were bleeding, my throat hurt and I think I just threw up my lunch. Now look, there's vomit on the floor. You raped it, you stamped on it, you did every imaginable action that could destroy the English Language. This should be shown in schools, sans bad words, telling little children that they can never ever type like this."

There's another very poorly written fanfic, My Immortal: Bring Me To Life.

And here's my review.

"I didn't want to continue reading and I'm not going to repeat myself, this is one of the most poorly written ever but in entertainment this is simply amusing."

Now here are the reviews which provide 98% of the entertainment and amusement.

"Didn't I flame this...?

Ah, whatever.
The sad thing is that your story has decent spelling, but YOUR SPELLING IN GENERAL is so horrible it makes me want to throw my cat at my computer screen just to get the print off of it.
And seriously? Hot Topic in the Harry Potter world? SERIOUSLY?
Geez, the preps you know must suck, because if you get to actually KNOW PEOPLE, then most of them turn out to be a-okay.
And Amy Lee has a beautiful voice. I shall agree."

I 120% agree with you. And yes, I like Evanescene, I happen to have their CD somewhere.

"What's wrong with being a prep? Let's see...odds are I'll go to a decent college...and have a steady career...and be able to get my points across with delicate and beautiful ease...I'm not seeing the problem here."

Apparently, Tara has problems against preps.

"This is the shitty piece of shit I've ever seen in my life.

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
Are you mentally retarded or something? Why the hell should anyone even allow you near a computer let alone on this site. Your work burns your eyeballs. For a writer and fantastic reader like myself, your "fanfic" makes me want to throw up. 

This is degrading. It should be deleted and I cannot believe you wrote one before this too. You've probably killed many innocent people with this crap.

Ahem, so I guess I'm a "pser" and a "prepz."
Because I just flamed this shit.
But in all honesty in your case, you should take this as constructive critisim. This is just horrible pathetic and has no right to be in any category let along Harry Potter, one of my favorite series of all time. I take this as a personal insult. 

And go ahead and sit there and call me and all the other smart people, "prepz and psers." It just goes to show how moronic you are.
I'm brutally fucking honest. You are the POSER, the LOSER, the MORON. STOP FUCKING WRITING YOU WASTE OF SPACE! GO SLIT YOUR WRISTS SOME MORE YOU "GOFF" PIECE OF SHIT, OK!
You are so not Goth by the way.
You are a piece of shit.

Thank you and Goodbye!"

Took the words out of my mouth.

And worse still, this Tara or some Tara wannabe totally destroyed Twilight.

Here's the monstrosity, Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre. 

It's in the same format as MI chatspeak and...

*shudders*

Here's my review.

"Use a spell checker, you just press a button. Unless, you typed this whole monstrosity out using a mobile phone. I barely read past Chapter 2. The blatant use of horrendous spelling and grammar makes my eyes bleed, I'm crying blood now! My stomach is currently churning It also makes me want to say very terrible things about you filled with extremely colourful language. I swear, even my sister who's dyslexic spells better than you. This is a waste of space. 

But I have to admit, it provides great entertainment, reviews wise."

And you can probably imagine the rest of the reviews.

DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE EASILY INSULTED OR DISGUSTED. 

I find this review greatly amusing, although I'm a HUGE fan of Twilight but this made me ROFL. I'm not really insulted by this because different people have different views.

The Twilight Review(clickclickclick)

Number of Pages in the Book: 498
The First Hint of a Plot that Is Not Bella and Edward's Romance: page 328
When the Plot Actually Arrives: page 372

Boys that Totally Love Bella (Including Edward Cullen): 5

Approximate Amount of Time Bella and Edward are Romantically Involved Before Bella Is Begging Edward to Turn Her into a Vampire so They Can Be Together Forever: Like, two weeks. Maybe three. The timeline's a bit fuzzy.

References to Edward's Beauty: 165

Broken Down into the following categories -

• Face: 24  (Favorite adjectives: glorious, heavenly, seraphic)
• Voice: 20  (The voice of an archangel, donchaknow.)
• Eyes: 17
• Movement: 11
• Smile: 10
• Teeth: 8
• Muscles: 7
• Skin: 7  (Note: This only contains accounts of Edward's skin being beautiful. I didn't count references to it as "pale," "cold," or "white." If I had, this number would be about ten times larger.)
• Iron Strength or Limbs: 5
• Breath: 4  (EVEN HIS BREATH IS AMAZING.)
• Scent: 4
• Laughter: 3
• Handwriting: 2
• Chest: 2
• Driving Skills: 1

The Number of Times...

• Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
• Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
• Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
• Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
• Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
• Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
  • Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
    
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
• Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
• Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5  (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
• Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
• Edward Sparkles: 3
• Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
  • Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
• Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2  (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
• Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
• Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
• Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0

Don't you find this amusing, comical and hilarious. 

Who would bother to count? You should still read the review, this is only half of it and the reviewer explains why he HATES Twilight. 

Stephenie Meyer is going to be on Ellen, yayayayay!! 

I've just realized what a long post I've written.

I wanna watch Quantum of Solace the new oo7 movie, I love James Bond.